Today I found myself standing at a computer in the criminal court division of our local courthouse. It was an old operating system and it was foreign to me. I found myself struggling with the computer’s outdated instructions and my frustration must have been apparent to those around me. An attorney who happened to be waiting in line walked over and offered to help me. We entered my X’s name into the public computer and several items popped up which were also foreign to me.
The kind attorney looked at the screen and said, “Oooh….someone you know has quite a drinking problem“.
This weekend, I discovered a few things that I didn’t know. Some I can share now and others I can’t. The joy (depending on which side you are on) of a small town is that eventually you learn things whether you want to or not.
The Main Discovery:
I discovered that my X has a recent DUI charge on his record from November. Based on the law, I believe that he is driving my daughters on a suspended license which is my initial concern at the moment. He had a previous drunk driving on his record from college. While I don’t agree with drunk driving, I can chalk the first one up to being young and irresponsible. He also had a previous ‘drunk in public” charge on his record from June of 2010. I have a hard time understanding or comprehending how a 37-year old, educated man with two young children could be drinking and driving or drunk in public.
I also discovered that I am still being called “T-Rex” in front of my children while in his care. Slight correction– the “nickname” has actually been shortened. I am now being called, “TR” for short when he is speaking poorly of me to anyone who will listen. He also instructed my daughters that “what happens when you are with dad stays here” and “if your mother asks what happens when you are with dad then you can tell her that it is none of her business”. He can’t control himself. He is damaging my daughters and he simply doesn’t care.
I am frustrated. Period.
That frustration will be channeled into the mother bear which lives in me.