Sometimes I use this blog to vent.  Tonight is one of those nights. 

I picked my daughter up from her counseling appointment and as we were driving home, she said to me:

“Mom- Do you know another reason why I don’t like going to Jason’s (her uncle) and Dad’s house?”

“Why, honey?” ….with that feeling back in the pit of my stomach again…

“Dad and Jason have the photo from your wedding in a frame on the fireplace and they covered you up with blue tape”, she said. “Dad isn’t covered in blue tape– only you”.

*** First of all– what do you say to that?  Honestly?  I feel like saying, “I’m sorry…your dad is a selfish, disturbed person and so is his entire family for allowing that to happen around two little girls”.

Deep breath.  Composure.  Wisdom.   God…can you hear this?  Can you tell me what to do?  What to say?  Another deep breath.

“Wow….that doesn’t sound very nice at all”….still trying to figure out what the best thing to say would be.  What in the hell do you say to something like that?  Who does something like that?!

She then went on to say, “I told  (counselor) but I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.  It isn’t up on the fireplace right now because I think Noni made them take it down when she came for Christmas.”

Me: “Sweetie, I don’t want you to feel like you need to protect my feelings…that’s not your job.  If something is bothering you, please talk to me or (counselor)– anytime”.


He is hurting the girls- so badly.  He is so unbelievably selfish that he doesn’t care.

The therapist will report this to the attorney who represents my daughters.  He will in turn report it to the Commissioner who oversees our case.

I hate that my daughters have to be subjected to this evil man.

11 Responses

  1. It’s so frustrating because I spend every moment trying to shelter them from this nightmare of a divorce yet he has zero regard for them or their well-being. It’s beyond frustrating because I see the damage he is doing.

  2. I did speak to the attorney early this morning about the “Taped” incident and the weekend visitation. He too is frustrated. He reiterated: continue to follow the court order exactly as its written– no deviations.

    The positive spin (because that’s what I try to do)– I have the 95% of the influence on my daughters and they know what is right and what is wrong. Last night’s incident further shows that they are already aware of his dysfunction and they are bothered by it. I would rather them be bothered by it then manipulated by it. We have open lines of communication and she is in therapy….frustrating on many levels but in my heart…I know they will be ok.

  3. Wow. That’s incredibly wrong. Your daughter is an amazingly strong girl, and that’s due to you and all the support you’ve given her. She has a voice, and she’ll use it. How very sad that she has to do so in such circumstances, but she sounds incredible.

  4. Thanks April- Yep…that is the goal right now: helping her to use her voice and feeling confident in doing so. She’s an incredible person. I am lucky to have her.

  5. I found your blog through a comment you left on another blog I follow “super single mom and her super kids”

    First of all, I cant imagine what you are going through! I will say this, you are doing an excellent job as far as what Ive read. Your response to her question was perfection. It hurts, you want to be able to cuss him out and tell her what a jerk he really is and explain that “normal” men (if there is such a thing these days) dont act this way, but you took the best road for your daughter. She needs to know you are strong and not phased by his psychotic behavior. Im speaking from experience. I had a similar experience going through my parents divorce and even though as a child, I didnt get it, I have an unbelievable strength now and I know its because of my mother and her strength.

    I am definitely going to be following this, and keeping you and your girls in prayer (hope you dont mind that)

    I am a single mother of 6 (with a very hard to explain situation) but I consider myself blessed because my ex and I are best friends and work together on a daily basis to ensure that our children are happy and healthy in every way! I honestly couldnt imagine how much harder life would be in your shoes…..

    You are an example of strength to all single moms and I am going to share this blog with everyone I know!

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