Today I told the truth…

Today I told the truth…

Today I told the truth.  I sat my daughter’s down and I stopped covering for “him”.

He didn’t show up for today’s visit…once again.

In the past, I tried to shelter the girls from reality.  I’ve come to realize that protecting them in this case means lying to them.  It’s a 30-minute drive to our meeting location so there is usually ample time for conversing.  My normal mode of operation is to think of a “back-up plan” in case he doesn’t show up.  I usually verbalize a plan- “if Daddy comes today- fabulous!  If he doesn’t come then we will do X, Y and Z”.

“X Y and Z” usually involve some fun activity or treat.  Something…anything to take their minds off the fact that their father let them down.  Again.

“X, Y and Z” are great except it isn’t reality.  In an effort to protect them, I am doing them a disservice.  I don’t know what the right answer is and I am always open to suggestions.  I am letting my heart guide me and taking advice from people who have my daughters’ best interests at heart.  I am thankful for those people.

The other truth is, that in the past two months, there have been a total of six scheduled visits.  Out of those six visits, there have been four visits that “he” was a complete “no-show”. One visit where he was 45 minutes late and one visit where he was on time.  Not good odds in Vegas and not good odds when you are betting on the hearts of two little girls.

One Response

  1. Been there, done that. At a certain point, enough is enough. My suggestion: instead of driving there and waiting, he can call/text you when he’s actually there and wait for you and the girls to arrive. Don’t tell him in advance (because then he’ll most likely say he’s there when he’s not). Just wait for him to call or text asking where you are. Tell the girls you don’t know if he’ll make it and you’re waiting to hear from him. If he calls and says he’s there, then you’ll take them. Give him about a half hour after the meeting time, and then tell the girls, “looks like it’s not going to happen today.” They will learn to love and accept him for who he is, and learning that they cannot rely on him is a sad, but important step in the process.