Brother A

Brother A

OSC-– a term that was foreign to me.  It means, “Order to Show Cause”. 

In “human-speak”, it means: “Dear Judge– Please add me to the court calendar because something needs to change- now”.

The term isn’t foreign to me anymore.  In all honesty, I feel like we’ve had an OSC on the court calendar every other month for two years.  The Commissioner probably cringes when he sees our name.  If there was ever a case on his desk that he’d hope to transfer to another judge– it’s ours.

I received notification that Seth had added an OSC to the calendar.  Basically, he wanted the order lifted that currently prevented our daughters from being in the presence of his older brother.  There were strict guidelines in our Parenting Agreement on when our children could be near “Brother A”  (There are four brothers in the family– I’ve fought hard to protect my children from “Brother A” and will continue to do so).  The visits were limited to four annual holidays and my ex-mother-in-law needed to be present.

What are the issues you are probably asking?  Here are excerpts from a letter that my ex-husband wrote to his mother  a few years ago about “Brother A” and why we didn’t want our daughters around him.  It sums up many of the issues– but not all.  I have removed names from the email:


Hi Mom,  I left (Brother A) a message early last week on his cell. Once a year or so I encourage him to write an apology and let ”by gones be by gones”.  His anger, comments about ”fags” and fat women, resentment towards me (likely a deep rooted jealousy of my career success, finding a cute blond girlfriend that he deliberately tried to sabotage, credit ability etc.) and his poor judgement. His beating dogs which our daughter repeated for two weeks.  Scarier was at Applebees where he talked about raping and killing (his ex-girlfriend).

Cumulatively, any licensed counselor or psychiatrist would agree he needs counseling and maybe meds. Until he apologizes to Tina even in email, Until he acknowledges and begins working on his anger and ending his redneck statements about gays, women etc. We do not want his influence or interaction with our daughters. That is a simple reality. Uncles and aunts have tremendous influence on nieces and nephews.  Attitude is even stronger influencer. Successful families have successful offspring.  Somewhere or sometime, he let anger interfere with his potential.

I am sorry that you are the most affected.  “Brother A” was the Senior Class President. Yet, he has two friends left –what happened to all these friendships?  He makes sure everyone who isn’t  on his agenda ”is done.”

“Brother A” is on a pathway to being a cantankerous hermit.  His decisions cause the alienation–one friend or family member at a time.  He needs counseling. Get him to go and then we can get back to being a family.  (Signed– “Him”)


Those issues are the tip of the iceberg.  Why does he now want my daughter around this man?  Why???!!!

I can tell you what the court paperwork states–  “Brother A has changed— he now has a wife and son.  He is a family man…yada…yada…yada”.

Fast-forward to reality:  “Brother A” does in fact have a wife and son.  He purchased a mail-order bride.  He brought her to America– she abandoned a child that she already had  and came to live here.  Together, they had a baby.  Being a husband and a father does not cure him. It does not change the person who beats tiny puppies, who is homophobic and talks about raping and killing people.

August 10, 2011 Court Date Re-Cap:  The court lifted the order slightly– and finally granted my request for a court-appointed attorney — Minor’s Counsel, who would look into my allegations and make a recommendation in the “best interest” of my daughters.

A new date was placed on the calendar— August 31, 2011.  This would be a report of findings from the attorney who would be representing my children.

Once again, I was hopeful.  I was also ready to put on the battle gear and fight.  Again.

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