The Women’s Shelter

The Women’s Shelter

August 28, 2009- I couldn’t go home.  I was terrified.  I wasn’t afraid that he would hit me– he had never even raised a hand towards any of us.  I was afraid he would kill me.

This was a Friday night.  The Friday night that I was supposed to leave the girls with him for the weekend.  I no longer saw that as an option.  We stayed with friends again and I notified him by email that we would not be home.  He drove to the house anyway.

I received a phone call at 10pm –duration 2 minutes and 7 seconds. 

He was angry and clearly drunk.  Threatening to “wreck” me in the community.  Threatening to email 3,000 local business owners to tell them what a slut I was.  Stating that my daughters needed a life without my influence (I don’t have a college degree…he has a BS in Physiology/Cell Biology…therefore, I am a disgrace…essentially worthless).  He closed the message by saying, “8am tomorrow…have my daughters here or you are DONE”.

August 29, 2009

2:16 am another voicemail came through–duration 1 minute 48 seconds.

Angrier and more intoxicated.  Rambling that he will wreck me in the community.  “there is karma in this world and you will just have to deal with that” he went on and on.

2:32am another voicemail came through- duration 41 seconds.

He was furious and drunk.  “YOU ARE WHITE TRASH…YOU ARE A LOOSER” and on….and on.

August 29, 2009 at 6:30am

This was one of the darkest days of my life.  I checked into the Women’s Shelter.  A place that I had volunteered for in the past and a place that I collected turkeys for each year during the holidays.

It was the most humbling experience of my life.

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7 Responses

  1. My ex still tells me how “Karma is going to get me in the end”. I had to take my young son and hide in a shelter in another part of the county, I threw ‘my’ cell phone in his Chiropractic office mail slot.He found out where I had gone by checking phone calls I hadn’t thought of deleting. I’ve been warned for years, about how he’ll call my family and tell them all what a slut I am and I totally sympathize with you. I haven’t read yet about your court battles, I’m sure I’ll see more that I went through in your story. Isn’t it funny (odd) that these men are always innocent and WE are the ones at fault with everything that went wrong? In my marriage it was always my fault if he hit me…”If you hadn’t done that…….”. My daughter suggested I read your blog because she said that Nick (I call him Ick now) has all the signs of Narcissistic personality disorder and I am finding a lot of similarities between our X’s.

  2. Sue- It still amazes me how many women who share the same story. Same story- same man…just a different name. Thank you for reading my blog <3 Tina

  3. I’m currently staying at a Transitional House for battered women, it is crazy, the men are all the same, same stories, different women! Whenever we share stories in group counseling or just talking among ourselves we are still amazed how similar they are.

  4. Thank you…sending positive thoughts back to you also. My daughter was in a Mom’s group with you some time back, she used to live in Slo Mo so maybe it was when she was there, I’m glad she knew you so she could ‘introduce’ me to you and your story.