The thought of making my daughter’s bounce back and forth like a tennis ball made me feel physically ill. I couldn’t imaging packing them up for a weekend and watching them bounce around. I knew our current situation was over and I came up with a plan that involved a lot of couches and a lot of friends. I was determined to make it work.
I proposed a “nesting agreement”. I would wait for “him” to come home on Friday nights at which point I would leave for the weekend. I would stay with friends and I would be content knowing that my children were in their own beds at night. We had tenants renting an upstairs unit at the time so I felt confident that another person was there to keep an eye on things– and to alert me if things were bad.
By mid-May, I was couch surfing on the weekends. That term is fun if you are 19 years old however, I wasn’t 19. I made the best of it. I stayed with my bookkeeper one weekend and a high school friend the next. I hate asking favors of people so this was a very humbling experience for me. I missed my daughters greatly. I cried a lot and I drank one too many glasses of wine on occasion. Many of our friends were mutual friends. I felt out of place and new that I needed to create my own support network– friends outside of my traditional circle.
I wasn’t grieving in the way that you would expect. I had grieved over the loss of my marriage for two years before I actually left. Once I made up my mind that things were done– I was already void of emotion for the marriage. I didn’t miss “him” and I didn’t miss our life together. I missed my daughters.
“Like” One Mom’s Battle on Facebook or Follow me on Twitter @onemomsbattle.com
To purchase Tina’s new book, “Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle”, click here. You will find insight, red flag reflections and strategies on how to survive while divorcing a narcissist or co-parenting with a narcissist. Tired of panicking at the site of a new email from the narcissist in your inbox? Learn how to decode the emails and see them for what they are. You will learn to forgive yourself and to begin healing.