One thing that I discovered through this process is that everyone handles divorce differently. Some friends draw closer and some pull away. Some are ready to carry boxes and furniture on a moment’s notice and others are no where to be found for months. I had both worlds during my divorce– some of the people who I truly believed would be there for me couldn’t be. There were different reasons for each case– some didn’t want to get in the middle and others cringed at the mere thought of divorce due to childhood experiences with their own parents.
The positive side to the equation is that I’ve developed some of the strongest friendships that I’ve ever known through this process.
I was in a very dark place– not only was my marriage ending but my beloved business had failed. This business was like a child to me. I put my heart and soul into what I was doing and I was completely devastated. To top it off, the local media began doing stories on my business failure and they were hounding me for interviews. I was distraught but never fear, I had a plan of attack: I had 6 boxes of girl scout cookies delivered, enough coffee to survive for 6 months, plenty of coupons for Dominoes Pizza and lots of sweatpants. I was going to do what any girl in my situation would do: pull the curtains closed and put a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the front door while drowning my sorrows in Thin Mints.
I sent out an email to all of my clients letting them know that my business was over. One of my clients (an acquaintance through the business community) emailed me back right away and invited me to coffee. I decided to put off my goal of hibernating for another day and meet with her. During that coffee date, I discovered that she was also in the process of a divorce. We kept in touch over the next couple of months and a friendship developed.
While red-heads typically carry a certain stigma (fiery, hot-headed, etc)….they can also be a lifesaver during very dark times. She wouldn’t have put up with me moping around in sweatpants for six-months— nope…not a chance. We had wine to drink, concerts to attend, shopping to do and new lives to start. She has stood by me when things were really, really bad and has cheered me on when things were really, really great. I am incredibly thankful for the good that has come from the bad over the past few years. My friendship with this awesome red-head is definitely one of the highlights of my divorce. I look forward to drinking wine, shopping and watching re-runs of the Kardashian’s when we are 85 years old.
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