Seth’s Mistress Strikes Again

Seth’s Mistress Strikes Again

May 2007- Triathlon: This time, I arrived for my annual camping adventure with a 2 year old and an 8-day old baby– and another c-section incision to deal with.  I was ready!  In fact, this year is was easier– I had become more robotic.  I knew what to expect and I even helped pack for the trip this time!  After all, I had four days to recover from a major surgery (yes, that is sarcasm).  I remember explaining to the surgeon that I needed a pain pump inserted into my incision– I had read about them online and knew it would drastically cut down on the pain during the trip.

He was very good at manipulations and I was very good at buying into them.  After all, if I was home (he explained) then I would be trying to do laundry, clean, etc.  Somehow, he became a hero with a brilliant plan to help me relax.  I packed my pain pills, crock pot, Vitamix and planned out our meals for the week.  He packed up the Airsteam and off we went.  He claimed it was the ideal situation— I could relax.

On the second night, I cooked a huge pot of pasta for a large group of 15 people.  I remember feeling as though daggers were being inserted into my wound but I was the good little wife- no complaints from me!

My best friend was there during this particular camping trip.  The funny thing is– we weren’t friends back then and we weren’t even acquaintances.  It’s ironic that we are even friends now…she didn’t like me.  She was there to support her husband and she thought I was pretentious in my “glamping” attire, new Airstream, new vehicles and my “shiny, happy life”.  It was a show.  I looked like the rich, modern version of June Cleaver but the reality is…I was sad, alone, pretending to be wealthy and I was miserable inside.  Heck, I had a full stomach of staples and a pain pump attached to my waist– I was pretending to be pain-free also.

I pretended a lot.

I pretended in my mind that I was loved.

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Divorcing a Narcissist: Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

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2 Responses

  1. I know- both married. Both alone. Both pretending to be loved. I am glad that our paths crossed again…can’t imagine my life without you, Meadow Devor!