Divorcing a Narcissist: Today’s Court Date and Outcome- Supervised Visits

Divorcing a Narcissist: Today’s Court Date and Outcome- Supervised Visits

Please lift the handle and exit to your left.

A roller coaster is always the easiest way to describe this experience.  There are the brave souls who are on the ride and then the people watching and cheering from the ground.  There are ups and downs– highs and lows.  Sometimes the ride flips you upside down and you endure loop after loop.  You are never in control of the ride– that is left to the man at the control booth.  You have to have faith and sometimes that is difficult.

I felt so much love and support this morning when I opened my Facebook account.  My phone battery will be dead soon due to the love that poured out with every “beep”.  I am thankful to each and every person who is cheering us on.  One day, I hope that my daughters are able to grasp the amount of love and support that is in our corner.  Sometimes it is overwhelming and I am grateful because being overwhelmed with love is a good feeling.

I got to the courthouse at 8:15am and we were scheduled for an ex parte (emergency) hearing.  I’m sure that each courtroom is different but this is the way ours works: with an ex parte, everything is handled by paperwork.  You are not able talk to the Commissioner.  Your paperwork is reviewed and a decision is made.  The Commissioner went through all of the cases on calendar and then notified me that his ruling was upstairs in the clerk’s office and that I could go retrieve it.  I sat reading the paperwork submitted by the X’s attorney and my daughters’ attorney.  My heart sank as I read it.

Here are a few snippets of what I was reading:

From Minor’s Council:

  • I do not consent to the requested order but I consent to the following order: the court NOT issue any ex parte orders regarding supervised visits at this time.
  • A hearing be set at a later time to address the issues at hand.
  • Spoke to childrens’ therapist who did recommend supervised visits.

From X’s Father (have you ever heard the saying, “The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree”?

  • Claimed that the girls were happily playing and their inner tubes slipped out.  Claims that the X jumped in right away and got the girls out.
  • Claimed the girls went in the very next day with zero fear or hesitation.  The ironic part was that his own wife (X Mother in Law) contradicted this statement in writing when she discussed talking to the girls on Skype and that my youngest daughter was “emphatic” about not going in the pool the next day.  Her email further discredited the X’s statement that I was brainwashing the girls into being afraid of the pool.
  • Went on and on about how much the girls love their dad and signs of affection, etc.

I sent several text messages to friends and family as I waited my turn in line stating, “I don’t feel good about this– minor’s counsel is recommending UN-supervised visits”.  I walked to the counter and watched as the clerk filled in the paperwork according to the Commissioner’s orders:

Professionally Supervised Visits pending next hearing.  One hour per week.  New hearing set for June 20, 2012. 

I could not believe what I was reading.  We were going to have almost a full month of peace.  The girls are able to see their father but they will be safe while doing so.

To say that I am thankful is an understatement.




13 Responses

  1. I am sooo happy for you and your girls! I can’t wait for the day judges put the kids first before anyone. I have to send my 3 kids back to their dad’s for a overnight Sat night. It just makes me sick. Although the issues aren’t as big as your swimming incident there are so many ways he is already controlling/manipulating (after only 3 overnight visits)but my good old school judge won’t listen to the kids counselor recommendation or the fact my X isn’t even getting the court ordered help or the fact he was found guilty of having sex with a 15 yo (something my X claims doesn’t effect his parenting!)Thank you so much for this site and I am soo happy for you and the girls. I have had more difficult days then good since the overnight visits started so I am so glad someone is getting some much deserved good news!

  2. Woo-Hoo! Enjoy the month, it will go fast no doubt, but enjoy the peace. So happy for you and your girls and certainly relieved. I hope you know we all carry a little of your burden in hopes of lightening your load a bit. I worry about all the families in this sort of crisis. We all deserve happiness and peace. Life is way too short to be cluttered withh this insanity.

  3. Congrats!!!! I must say that I find it shocking that minor councelor would disregard what the minor therapist was recommending……shame on him!!

  4. What an awesome ending to a nerve-wracking morning! I’m proud of you Tina! You did good girl!!