For 93.8% of the population, One Week = 7 days = 168 Hours.
For 6.2% of the population suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, there is a good chance for argument on that.
Let me give you a few examples:
Me: “What a beautiful blue sky today!”
N-Him: “Well… technically it’s not “blue” but you might think it is because clearly you aren’t smart enough to understand that the molecules in air scatter the light…blah… absorbing most wavelengths of light except for blue. So you are really being quite simplistic and sounding rather stupid when you make the statement “the sky is blue…””
Me: “I can’t believe it’s already the 355th day of the year, with only 10 days more until New Years! Where does the time go?”
N-Him: “Well… as you might know, but probably not, Atomic Clocks are responsible for synchronizing time for much of our technology… blah…and now there is advanced technology with time being accurate to one second in 300 million years…blah, blah… and factoring in leap year… and well, the calculations might really add up to 366 days in a year…blah, blah, blah. Especially when that extra night, according to MY calculations, is MY overnight, and I don’t have to pay YOU additional child support for it…
I think therefore I am. The sky is blue. The grass is green. Snow is white.
I filed a Parenting Time Dispute motion with the court to ask the Judge to please define what “one week of time” meant.
The motion went a little something like this:
“Due to continuous disagreement and constant varying interpretation of our current decree, I ask that the court please define for my (dear) “ExN” what “one week of summer vacation time” equates to, spelled out in both parenting “days” and “overnights” so that we may both choose our vacation time with our children fairly and equally this summer, and going forward.” (Respectfully, humbly, and embarrassingly yours… LK).
I felt ridiculous going to the courthouse and filling out a form to seek a professionally written answer to clarify, and verify, and set the record straight, that indeed, “One week equals Seven Days,” and asking someone to waste precious time on such frivolousness.
But I did not know what else to do.
The ExN insisted that his “summer vacation weeks” spanned anywhere from 8 overnights to 12 total. Mine? A standard week with seven nights.
Logic? Reason? Discussion? None. There is no such thing as “Co-” anything with a Narcissist. Don’t even try.
Our decree is written very vaguely, and subject to various interpretations by Him, which occur almost each time there is any time off from the kids’ school. Had I known back then when we going through the original divorce process, versus knowing what I know now having gone through the high-conflict post-divorce years’ worth of experience I now have because of Him, I would have never signed off on our current decree.
Life lesson learned.
Within a few weeks, the Judge kindly clarified for us that indeed: “There are Seven days in One Week….”
Thank you Judge.
You have no idea how sorry I am that I asked you to spend your esteemed valuable time on this. But you also have no idea what I deal with on a daily basis, trying to be reasonable, and trying to work these simple things out myself, with someone who is probably in the top .05% of the top 6.2%. It’s impossible. And so even more, I thank you for your time.
I thought that having something in writing would help. I thought we would now each follow the guidelines set forth by the Judge and fairly schedule our vacation time. And…Pigs can fly.
The Ex’s response?
Fire-fueled. Chest out. Bring it on. “No one is going to tell me I’m not right.”
Because in dealing with a Narcissist, even what a Judge has to say is going to be wrong.
The ExN and his attorney immediately filed a dispute to the Judge’s ruling, contesting that “according to their interpretation” of the current decree…. “there are really not Seven days in a week’s worth of time when it comes to allocating his summer vacation.”
And so the saga continues.
Life lesson learned:
Always have your earplugs available.
And if you choose to feed the Narcissist, always be prepared to enter the battle zone.
~LLS~ Lucy K.
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