This week you failed.
You failed to protect my little girls.
We are just one story and there are thousands of other children across the country that are being let down each day. I beg you to look closely at your system and make changes because I am hearing stories every week that rock me to my core. You are failing to protect these children who are depending on you. Your flawed system keeps me awake at night because we seem to have a difference of opinion.
I don’t agree that someone has “rights” just because they donated sperm or gave birth. Just because someone has the ability to procreate shouldn’t automatically give them parental rights. My children (and ALL children) have a RIGHT to be safe, loved and protected and their right should supersede any parental rights.
Your court system is flawed. Judges and Commissioners are too quick to give 50/50 custody in an effort to move child custody cases through the courtroom like cattle. If there are two healthy parents then I wholeheartedly support an equal custody split. Unfortunately, in my case there are not two healthy parents. I feel that your Judges, Commissioners, Mediators, Family Court Workers and Attorneys need to receive ongoing education on high conflict divorces, narcissistic personality disorder, psychopaths and other personality disorders. Christie Brinkley said it best, “Google the term; Divorcing a Narcissist“. I applaud Christie for shining the spotlight on this disorder for the entire world to see. Now it is time for the court system to become educated.
I have fought in pro se for three years to protect my daughters and it has been the roller coaster ride of a lifetime. I have spent three years documenting events that make my head spin and my heart break into a million pieces. My role as a mother is to protect my daughters and I am at a loss for how to do that when my hands are tied by a broken court system. I have followed all of your rules and I have played your games yet this week, you have placed my daughters back in the care of a sick, twisted man.
This is a man who:
- Has sat in court and told lie after lie under oath for three years with no consequences.
- Has major issues with alcohol: two drunk-in-public offenses, one drunk driving and a wet & reckless offense.
- Has stalked me and caused me to live in terror.
- Left two small children alone in a house at the ages of 2 and 4.
- Squeezed my daughter (age 4) until she vomited for almost two hours.
- Left angry, harassing voice mails which resulted in us relocating to a women’s shelter.
- Broke into our home despite a court order which was less than 24 hours old.
- Lied repeatedly about the whereabouts of the children.
- Left my daughter sleeping in a vehichle alone for 45 minutes immediately after she was released from the hospital days with complex seizures and orders to never be alone.
- Squeezed my daughters wrists so hard that she drew pictures about the incident in preschool and wrote the words, “I’m sad and want to call my mom”.
- Hit my daughter across the arms for getting dirty feet on his car seat after a hike.
- Argued with my daughters that my name wasn’t “Tina” but “T-Rex” repeatedly.
- Kept an enlarged wedding photo on the fireplace mantel with my photo taped over in electrical tape which thoroughly upset the children.
- Threatened to take my daughter’s cell phone and throw it out of a moving call in an effort to intimidate her into now calling her mom.
- Stands us up repeatedly with no phone call, text message, email or advanced notice.
- Traumatizes my children with no regard for their feelings or well-being.
This week when I was asked by your court how much time my case would take, I replied, “45 minutes” and was met with an “I don’t think so”. Our scheduled six month review hearing (to address many of the bullet points above) turned into an argument about whether or not my X husband had lied to the Commissioner about attending church. Not one item listed above was addressed yet my daughters are now being forced back into his care because he has “rights” as a father. I took my daughters to a therapist this week to assist me in explaining why they will no longer have a “buddy” to supervise their visits. How do I explain this to two little girls when I don’t understand it myself? I await your answer.
Sincerely, Tina Swithin
- Note from Tina: My hope is to bring education and change to the California Family Court System. You can help by signing my petition: Click Here. If you are in another state, I encourage you to start a petition in your state and bring education to the Family Court System.
- For Resources on Narcissistic Personality Disorder or other personality disorders and divorce, click here.