Note from Tina: There are many faces to this battle and I am currently featuring a total of six different people who are all affected by narcissism. Some are divorcing a narcissist, some share custody with a narcissist, one is a man who is affected by his ex-wife’s personality disorder and one is an amazing young woman who is away at college but still feeling the effects of her father’s narcissism. While we are all different, we share the same story—the same trials and tribulations. There are many faces to this battle and I am happy to share them with you. -Tina
“Olivia” ~ Blog 2
Today I finished my first semester of college! I survived rush, exams, communal bathrooms, and cafeteria food. These past two weeks have been the most challenging so far; I had to balance final exams, sorority functions, and my dad.
I found out in these past couple of week that we are going to Europe for winter break. I could not be more exited to re-experience European Christmas traditions with my family. I knew that my dad would be upset when he discovered that I would not be home for Christmas. I was growing anxious as I anticipated my dad finding out about the family trip– and anxious about how he would react to the news. To say that he was “less than pleased” is an understatement.
One morning, I woke up to 4 extremely long texts messages and 3 emails detailing his beliefs that my mom is brainwashing me, that I’m a horrible daughter, and that he is the perfect father. The last email detailed exactly what he will not do because since I am not spending Christmas with him: he will not pay for college. These text messages always ruin my day, heighten my already bad anxiety, and distract me. While I know that I am not a horrible daughter or person, it still is hard to read negative things about myself. I wish my dad understood that attacking me with texts and email makes me want to be away from him even more. I don’t understand why my dad has not changed his actions. I do not respond to the text messages hoping not to fuel his fire. I wish he could understand that my decision to go to Europe is not a personal attack against him.
Luckily I have encouraging people surrounding me on all sides. These people have made being a child of narcissist easier. Many people have stepped up to the plate to fill in gaps. My mom’s boyfriend has shown my brother and I what a relationship should look like. One of my closest friend’s dad bought a shirt and hat from my school while my dad criticized my choice in universities. My grandfather has also done more that anyone could ask of him. He helped move me into college, buys things for my dorm room, and stepped up to be a positive role model for everyone around him.
I am excited for the future. I am confident that being a child of a narcissist will only make me a stronger person.
To see the rest of the posts from “Olivia,” click here.
Click the link to purchase Tina’s new book, “Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle.” You will find insight, red flag reflections and strategies on how to survive (and thrive!) while divorcing of co-parenting with a narcissist. Tired of panicking at the site of a new email from the narcissist in your inbox? Learn how to de-code the emails and see them for what they are. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.