A couple of weeks ago, I was contacted by “A” and her story has been on my mind ever since. I am angry for her– and I am angry for “Baby G”….her precious little girl. I am angry at this screwed up court system which clearly is not acting in the best interest of the child. If you haven’t read her story, I encourage you to do so by clicking here.
A few updates on “A” and “Baby G”:
They were separated for an entire week– and had not been apart for more than 4 hours prior to this insane order which was handed down by a family court judge. They were allowed Skype visits during their time apart which resulted in Baby G crying and trying to crawl into the computer to be with her mommy. When “A” received her baby back, she had lost an entire 2lbs– 12% of her body weight! Her pediatrician was furious and wrote a letter trying to appeal to the court– this is clearly not in the best interest of Baby G.
Today was the ex parte hearing to try and stop the next week-long visit (which begins tomorrow). I received a text message from “A” this afternoon to update me on the outcome. Her message started by saying, “I can barely breathe.” I had a sinking feeling as I scanned the rest of her message. The Judge threatened to order her back into the town where her abuser lives and stated that she had psychologically damaged her baby by leaving. The Judge also blamed the malnourishment on “A” — the weight loss is her fault for not pumping enough breast milk.
As you know, I am already very vocal about educating the masses and making changes to the system. This story has ignited a huge spark in me. I think that there is corruption taking place– her abuser’s family is very connected and “A” wasn’t even able to secure legal representation in the town where her case is taking place….all of the attorneys that she tried to retain “conflicted out” due to his family ties. There is something seriously wrong here and when “A” gives me the green light, I will work late into the night to generate press about this case.
Tomorrow is the beginning of the next week-long visitation. “A” needs a tremendous amount of prayers, positive thoughts, hugs and pixie dust.
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It is amazing to me how in the best interest of the child can so be redefined by our court systems. My prayers to A and baby G. It sickens me what these narcs are doing to this world. Pure evil incarnated.
Ivonne
Not only am I praying for “A” and her daughter – I am praying that she has the strength to give you the green light. This judge needs to be exposed. Think of all the other children he has and WILL hurt. So upsetting.
Please also let “A” know that she should really get a copy of the transcripts from her court trial. She needs evidence of this judges insane statements if anyone is going to take her seriously. (The office where she filed her paperwork should have information about who does transcripts – and can also tell her who is the least expensive;-)
I had an insane ruling by a referee. Armed with my bizarre order and the highlighted transcripts I went to my congresswoman, who requested that she make copies of all of the papers I brought. she said that she knew someone who needed to see this insanity. Within two weeks my Renee was fired. I was told that I was one of many cases that this referee (a mother in her thirties with three young kids) had ruled so completely backwards on – but that my case was the proverbial “nail in the coffin”. I feel so proud of myself for taking action and saving so many other kids from going through what mine have under her ruling.
Here is the link to the article. Since then, two cases of hers have gone before the Appeals Court, both were reversed. An appeal is $20,000 – $30,000. I wonder how many people have to just live with her rulings because they can’t afford an appeal. It is so sad.
http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2011/10/onondaga_county_family_court_a.html
My first thought is I WISH I could do more…but I will definitely pray for mom and baby. Isn’t it so unfair we cannot even use names etc. Because of fear of the system? Tina I will continue to pray for and speak out about you…your warrior spirit is infectious and amazing!!! Keep on girlfriend!!!!!
OMG that is so very wrong. I feel sick reading this.
My heart is breaking for ‘A’ and baby G. I send strength, love and prayers to them both.
This is corruption at its core.
I hope you (Tina) *can* publicize this for a good outcome. And I wish …Momma and Baby could just be together. There needs to be a different judge.
I have been reading in horror many stories regarding divorcing a narcissist and am going through my own nightmare. But my heart is so sadden for this mom. It is unbelievable that this is happening in America. I could not hold back the tears and frustration in reading her story. I am definitely praying for her,I know that there is nothing impossible with God, and he can soften even the hardest heart. I wish I could do something to help her.
This is outrageous!! I am from Canada and i can see it is the same thing here. I will pray for this poor little angel and mom. Stay strong mom and don’t give up! We are all thinking of you!
Prayers for A and Baby G. May God continue to lead and guide you Tina on your quest to expose the corruption that exist in family court. God bless all who have been through this hell.
This is really too much for words. I am praying for baby g and for “a” who I know can barely function with stress like no other. Trying to protect her baby from a monster. I am one month away from court ordered overnights for my nursing baby. Lawyer says there’s nothing I can do since the monster hasn’t done anything bad enough for the judge to change his mind. We have to wait for worse behavior. Sick.
“A” I pray for you. I almost feel like you shouldn’t even do the Skype visits because they are so torturous for you and baby. God has plan and it will happen on his time. You cannot survive this horrendous time in your life without believing he is in control.
In tears, Tina please do everything you can to help this woman, you are so connected with the media, I cant stop crying, lets face it money and the ability to afford a lawyer is what wins in court, it is so sad, these judges use no common sense!
The scary part is that she can afford an attorney– and has one!
Arizona court systems are doing amazing things about restructuring parental time for children that acknowledges their emotional and psychological development. Of course, it is not “the law” but it provides parents with opportunities to educate themselves– and prepare for “optimal” choices when structuring a parenting schedule.
http://www.azcourts.gov/portals/31/parentingTime/PPWguidelines.pdf
I am not in AZ, but we had a “progressive” therapist sit down with my narc(?) ex and I to discuss what was best for our child. It was helpful having this PDF packet prior to that all important session where we were going to jointly agree on a final plan for X. I read it, and got prepared to state my case. I think we reached a fairly reasonable plan considering what the narc was trying his best to manipulate.
I’d also like to point out that when it was randomly brought up by my ex that “She would still be breastfeeding, X, if you LET HER!!!” (Yes, he was very angry that I was a breastfeeding mom!)
The therapist quickly asked: “Are you still breastfeeding?”
I replied honestly: “No. I discontinued breastfeeding at 18 months.”
The therapist responded in my ex’s direction: “Well. Consider yourself lucky. If she had still been breastfeeding– which is totally reasonable since science knows that breastfeeding IS BEST for both the baby nutritionally as well as psychologically– I would not be sure that overnights are what is in the child’s best interest.” He also went on to expound that extending breastfeeding is good too.
(Yes, I found a gem of a therapist!)
We need to be realistic. Unless Baby G’s father has abused her, the courts are not going to take away his parental rights. (Yes, the loosing weight very much seems like abuse, but I believe the courts could argue it any which way they wish. Wrong? You betcha’.) However, they just don’t exclude any parent unless the child’s life is in eminent danger. And yes, this story breaks my heart horribly. Children need to come first in the courts. PERIOD.
I wish that I had gone to law school when I hear stories like this.
I am almost speechless! My heart goes out to “A” and baby “G”!
It is important that “A” doesn’t accept any of that Corrupt talk from the Judge!
You have my prayers asking for “A” to get wisdom as to the best course of action to take to protect herself and her baby!