Note from Tina: If I ever begin to question “why” I am doing what I am doing, I will re-read the message that I received this morning. The Family Court System in our country needs a complete overhaul. Literally makes me sick to receive messages like this. Sending love and prayers to “A” and her beautiful little girl ♥ Tina
I just read the Kindle version of your book. One of the therapists at the DV group I have been going to recommended it. It helped me to feel not so alone, and like it really “wasn’t me” and wasn’t my fault. It really is amazing how identical so much of what you wrote about is how my ex is, the same things said, the same words, the same mind games and manipulations, the same alcohol, the same twisted parents, I’d swear you were taking about my ex. I chose to message you instead of posting this on your wall because the ex has people monitoring my page and posts and everything.
I am so distraught and upset right now. You are so right about the Family Law system being screwed up. It is, and these guys use it for their own games using our poor children as pawns, nothing more than objects. I fled my home with my daughter after my ex made an attempt on my life and was nearly successful. After many threats that our daughter (8 months old when I left) would be “motherless”, I filed for divorce in a neighboring state and was granted an emergency motion and temp custody. The court finally found it did not have jurisdiction and insisted we file in our home state. My ex beat me to it and the court made a decision based on his prejudgement filing alone, without a hearing, and granted him one full WEEK with him. I was notified mid-day on Friday and the visit was to begin 48 hours later- on Sunday.
My daughter is still primarily breastfed- easily 80% of the time. She has never had a bottle, refuses breast milk from a cup and only wants to nurse- straight from me, her mother. She is allergic to cows milk, so she has not been on that or any other “substitute”. The longest she has EVER been gone from me is 4 hours, and she nurses right before and after. None of that mattered to the court. I was even able to get letter from her pediatrician strongly advising against such a dramatic change so quickly and asking that they please not unnecessarily traumatize our infant daughter, but my ex and his lawyer insisted. He even went so far as to say that he’d “just put her on formula” despite her NEVER having had formula and refusing a bottle.
Now my baby is 420 miles away, I am beyond worried, and don’t know what to do. I just don’t understand how the court can make such a major decision after only seeing one twisted side of the story which involved lies, and then claim it is in my baby’s best interest. I don’t know what to do next, how to get through this, how to help my baby. I feel so absolutely destroyed.
Your strength is encouraging to me. Though I also am a bit feeling like this is only the beginning of a long never ending road. It seems as though he is going to follow the same pattern that you went through. I pray for some of your strength. Thank you for writing this book and speaking out. “A”
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