Comments for One Mom's Battle

Comment on Divorcing a Narcissist: Our Family Wizard Review by Peg

Peg — Wed, 01 May 2013 21:03:41 +0000

True, the lawyers have to pay to see the sight also, and individually, though they can have a group discount. I caught that when I signed up.

Comment on “Emily’s Story” ~ Blog 4 by Sydney

Sydney — Wed, 01 May 2013 16:47:58 +0000

Emily: Hello! I am so sorry at what you are facing. I know, though, that despite Craig’s crazy-making, you have got to be so thankful that your daughters are not around his influence as much as they once were. There is always a positive side to this struggle. I can relate so well…I filed for divorce late November 2012 from someone I believe suffers from what your husband suffers from. Our divorce is far from over. Though he currently has regular visits with our 5-year old, he has limited time with our 1.5 year-old daughter. One thing I can tell you based on my case: my ex has not changed. One bit. I held out hope that he might change once the papers were filed, but instead he’s moving on with life and by his selfish choices is even hurting his own case. Once I filed for divorce, I was done with the trying. I tried for years in the marriage to keep him interested in his family and in our children. Once I filed, I made sure specific times were outlined in the court documents, and I follow them to a T. He does not get one extra moment with our children to pollute them with his miserable, all-about-me life. I even have a law enforcement officer present during visitation exchanges. He’s gotten the message now on hundreds of occasions that I mean business. Your daughters have you as their hero. I congratulate you in fighting the good fight for them. I would advise you to drop doing anything that makes it easier on him. Our soon-to-be ex’s are big boys that have decided to not deal with their problems. Let them feel the weight of the consequences of their own actions. Nobody can hide from reality. If they want to see their children, they will fight for them.

Comment on Divorcing a Narcissist: Are you Smarter than a 2nd Grader? by MP

MP — Wed, 01 May 2013 09:50:45 +0000

It is absolutely true that the NPD will destroy his own credibility with his children through his own actions. You don’t have to say or do anything to tell the children about who their father really is and that all he cares about is himself! The hardest part is that the children have to experience the lies and manipulation themselves to believe it. They so want, especially when they are young, that their dad is a “good” dad! It really does break your heart when they realize that it is not true!

Comment on Divorcing a Narcissist: Are you Smarter than a 2nd Grader? by Tina

Tina — Wed, 01 May 2013 05:55:52 +0000

When the girls were 2 and 4, Seth had overnight visits. He lost overnights in 2011 — the girls were 4 and 6. Those two years were VERY difficult. Keeping you in my thoughts.

Comment on Divorcing a Narcissist: Are you Smarter than a 2nd Grader? by Mary Claire

Mary Claire — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 19:38:58 +0000

Here’s a good one for you… My son is now 14.. His father left when he was 18 months old. I love the saying because it is so very true. Most recently, my ex (the narc) has acted in a way that has put my son and I in financial jeopardy. My son does not know the extent of what his father has done and I will do everything I can to make sure that he does not feel the backlash.

Since his last visit with his dad, he has not wanted to speak to him on the phone. Don’t quite know the reason for that. Yesterday around 4:00pm, my son received the following text… “Text me back at this number. If I do not get a phone call from you tonight, I am calling the BR police!” My son responded, “Don’t call me and don’t text me and don’t call the BR police.” The next text from the ex “Well I am. You are being brained wash! If I don’t hear from you by 7:00 pm, I am calling the BR police! On this number and I ALWAYS follow through! To that, my son responded..”What is wrong with u, i am not brain washed, just get over yourself. My life is only bad when your in it!” Ex texted, “POLICE 7pm!!!! 1hour and 21 minutes! And I believe with your moms record, they will come!

This went on until 7pm…. Nothing happened – “NO Follow Through”.

My son is still intimidated in some ways.. but he is now seeing through the craziness…. It takes a long time. His dad’s actions are finally visible to my son and he understands that he has had to learn to decipher the good from the bad with his dad to preserve his own sanity. My goal has always been to do everything that I can to insure that he (my son) does not become a narcissist himself.

Comment on Divorcing a Narcissist: Are you Smarter than a 2nd Grader? by Michellle

Michellle — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 19:28:26 +0000

Don’t you just love the natural discerning ability of children? I have learned that the best weapon you have in your vampire arsenal is the patience to allow the Narcissist enough rope….if he thinks you aren’t a threat, his focus is on hisself, which will ultimately be his undoing with his children. My only concern is the physical safety of my precious babies. Otherwise, I let life dole out the punishment to fit the crime.

Comment on Divorcing a Narcissist: Are you Smarter than a 2nd Grader? by Shannon

Shannon — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 18:36:01 +0000

Tina,

I would like to inquire, at what age did the shared (using the term lightly) begin occurring with your daughters. My little one was very sleepy when I received her back Sunday and I believe that N has moved an hour away which a long car ride would be plausible for the sleepiness, however later I asked if he had moved to a new house…she looked at me and pulled the covers over her head. Odd. The following day, something broke on the computer which was on its last leg but my little one had been playing her games at the time, her response started me. She burst into tears and said “it’s all my fault”, running to her room crying. Of course I consoled her and assured her that nothing was her fault but it has me wondering where a three year old would ever have that in their little minds. Is their hope that this child will not become a mere shell of the child she was prior to these visitations? I must admit I have not read your book since I can’t afford anything other than necessities and attorney fees…lots of them.

Comment on Divorcing a Narcissist: Are you Smarter than a 2nd Grader? by Shelly

Shelly — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 18:21:59 +0000

My Ex-N is very smart. He knows exactly how to make me look like the crazy, manipulative one and has been successful in destroying my relationship with my children who now live with him. Every now and then there is a moment where he messes up. Most recently, my daughter misplaced her Ipod while on a weekend visit with us. We searched everywhere for hours. Upon telling her father she lost it he said we took it because we did not want her to have it. At the next Wednesday visit I and the kids were driving in the car and had just talked about the Ipod and if I had found it. I said no but we had been looking hi and lo and talked about possibilities. They told me what their father had said and that they defended me. Not 5 minutes after my sons nose started to bleed and upon opening the glove box to give him a napkin there popped out the Ipod. My daughter then remembered that she put it there. The Ex-N can try to justify his way out of that one but I think justice was done by Divine Intervention and gives me hope that someday my children will see the truth.

Comment on Divorcing a Narcissist: Are you Smarter than a 2nd Grader? by Michelle

Michelle — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 17:56:54 +0000

My son is 6, & already understands how his Dad works. I was picking the munchkin up at his Dad’s house (before I got a PFA), & ex-narc was holding our son against his will. He was upset that I had a boyfriend, & was saying that he was keeping munchkin “so I could go on a date.” Munchkin was visibly scared, so I told the Dad to “let him go; he’s scared.” Dad turns to munchkin & says, “I’m not scaring you, am I buddy? Is it ok if Daddy holds you?” Munchkin’s reply: “Maybe just for 2 more minutes.” Six years old, & already bargaining with Dad. Very sad.

Comment on “Emily’s Story” ~ Blog 4 by R

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 15:24:05 +0000

Emily:

You nailed it on the head when you suggested your ex created “a power struggle out of any situation.” Pretty disgusting. Always puts us on the defense which is extremely draining over and over again. My ex-wife continues to make false allegations against me, harass and abuse me, as well as alienate my kids. So far, there is little I can do to minimize the damage. They can say and do just about anything.

In your case, I hope the abuse stops soon.