Note from Tina: There are many faces to this battle and I am currently featuring a total of six different people who are all affected by narcissism. Some are divorcing a narcissist, some share custody with a narcissist, one is a man who is affected by his ex-wife’s personality disorder and one is an amazing young woman who is away at college but still feeling the effects of her father’s narcissism. While we are all different, we share the same story—the same trials and tribulations. There are many faces to this battle and I am happy to share them with you. -Tina
“Claire” ~ Blog 3
For those of you who have been following my posts, I apologize for taking so long to post my next update. I have been dealing with a lot of current issues regarding Kane. The letters are filled with more lies and accusations than ever before. I can only take that to mean he is getting desperate and is either about to lose his job or do something else stupid. I am expecting a court hearing before too long. Anyway, I last left off after the birth of our first daughter.
Kane didn’t stick around. He was only in the hospital when his family was around. Other than that, he left. He slept there the first night, but decided he needed to go home to sleep the second night. When I finally came home from the hospital, he left again. Kane thought that it was a perfect time to go play golf. I remember his parents were so uncomfortable with him leaving and stayed for quite a while to keep me company. Within a month, Kane’s company went on strike that lasted 15 days. This was only one paycheck, but when you are living on a part-time salary, it was definitely more than we could afford. During that time, Kane went job hunting and landed a job at McDonald’s as a manager-in-training. After his first week there, he vowed to never return because some day his daughter would be disappointed to find out that her dad was only capable of McDonald’s. He never even called them back to let them know that he quit. They called numerous times before he finally told them he wouldn’t return.
We were evicted by September because we couldn’t afford the rent. His mom then helped him get a job at the place where she worked. It was a great job and gave him the potential of making great money. I think she really had to pull some strings to get them to hire him. We moved into his parents’ house for a short time before we found an apartment on the other side of town. We worked out a deal with the complex to allow me to clean the vacant apartments. However, within two months, he was relocated to near my family, over two hours away. We quickly packed up the apartment and left. He made me tell them and we gave them almost no notice. I was so excited to return home that I completely went along with the move. We found a place right away and I thought I could finally be happy.
Not long after we moved in, Kane was borrowing money from the company where he worked. Part of his job was to collect money, sometimes in cash, and send it off to his company. Kane would use the cash that was given to him to pay their bills as his own personal spending account. It wasn’t long before the company found out. Kane quit. As a matter of fact, he quit showing up. He claimed that he was being mistreated by his boss instead of admit to everyone that he stole money. When his mom found out, she was livid. Kane was supposed to pay all the money back. I actually don’t know what happened, but because I know we didn’t pay back that money, and the cops were never called, I will assume his mother bailed him out. Again. I would find out over the course of the marriage, and well beyond, this would be a reoccurring theme.
To see the rest of the posts from “Claire” click here.
Click the link to purchase Tina’s new book, “Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle.” You will find insight, red flag reflections and strategies on how to survive (and thrive!) while divorcing of co-parenting with a narcissist. Tired of panicking at the site of a new email from the narcissist in your inbox? Learn how to de-code the emails and see them for what they are. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.