Ramblings of a Mad Man: Inside the Mind of a Narcissist

Ramblings of a Mad Man: Inside the Mind of a Narcissist

madmanToday is Seth’s parenting evaluation- he spent yesterday grooming them.  He took them shopping for new beds (they haven’t had overnight visits since 2011) and told them how important it was to tell the man (evaluator) how much fun they have with him.  They came home concerned about the possibility of overnight visits.  I told them both that adults are not allowed to tell them what to say– that is very wrong.  Mommy should never tell them what to say nor should daddy.  I told them that they should speak from their heart and use their voice.

On Wednesday the girls will meet with the evaluator alone and then I will meet with him on Thursday.  I have spent much of the weekend preparing for my meeting on Thursday.  I have saved hundreds of messages on my cell phone and it can only be titled as, “The Ramblings of a Mad Man” — if this evaluator can view these messages and NOT see Seth as insane….I don’t know what else to say.

As most narcissists do, Seth has a “chosen” child: Piper.  This was a text message that he sent me one night regarding his belief that Piper is a genius:

I am reading a book about people who are defined as genius. Piper might be one. Please have her read nightly. I’ll send you published papers if you’d like to attest to this. This has nothing to do with me. You are an idiot if you refuse to cultivate Piper or Sarah through extracurricular education. You lack so much…and its because of your upbringing and lack of cultivation. Lacking Culture or a groomed skill. Just looks. So sad.

These are just a small sample of text messages (ten) that he sent to his ex-girlfriend after discovering that she wrote a declaration regarding his mental instability:

1. The crazy narcissistic woman’s request was denied to take my children from me .  ( this is the one with 200 pages of herself online after she cheated on me while we’re married).  That narcissist. She’s very vindictive, much like you Kasia. How does feeling full of vengeance work for you both I wonder? Stressful? Aging? Negative? All of the above. I wouldn’t know because I shun people like you two from my life. Oh yeah, and all your negative bs you wrote to hurt two innocent children and turn the court against me, all your effort to be hateful to a man you said you loved as recently as July was in vain. Hope to see you at the gym soon to laugh at you aloud. Everyone I know here will know what you did factually. That’s the truth 

2. It’s “sent Kasia”. As in “That’s what he just sent” Learn English properly before you start taking advantage of American men.  I wasted my entire day responding to the lies you gave to my X wife…a woman you never met. You’re one vindictive, selfish woman Kasia. Having the ability to affect a Father’s lifelong relationship with his children. You should be ashamed of yourself. I am.  Janusz certainly would be. How do you sleep at night?!?

3. I wish you well. It’s sad you came into my divorce with a commissioner who sees through this.  Justice will prevail. I can’t believe you sunk to that level to contact my X wife Kasia. Unbelievable

4. Tomorrow Kasia. How you can consciously justify coming between me and my daughters to be vindictive because we once were in love but lost that because Aneta came. We had our own relationship and independence. You have no right to hurt my time with my daughters. Kasia how do you sleep

5. You are a terrible human being. Kasia you went 220 miles away to give my X, who you do not even know, you didn’t even know her name and then you give her things she can use in my divorce court.

6. You have the balls to talk to my X to hurt my daughters ability to have a relationship with their father.   How dare you Kasia.  Karma will treat you.

7. I was respectable about you to the guy who thinks you’re his girlfriend. You slept around whole you told me you only were with me. Going 220 miles to affect my relationship with my daughters is vindictive, selfish, immature and uncalled for. I was recovering from major losses in my life when I met You in 2009. Loss of my livelihood, loss of a wife, loss of love, loss of a business. Loss of my children. How Dare You Kasia!!!!

8. You are a human being that lacks a conscience.  You crossed the line, you don’t even know my children or my X.  How dare you

9. Let’s just let it go Kasia. I really am Sorry! Hope you have a great life and promising career. I really do. 

10. How dare you. That’s my Mom with my Girls. A woman with integrity who told me you’re a waste of my time last year. I hope you can’t sleep realizing you’ve damaged children. Innocent children with your vindictive, ” it’s a about me” attitude. No wonder you’re single. You’re destined for a lonely life after endlessly using people for money. (Photo of Cleo attached to message)

Most of these messages were sent one after another– some just minutes apart.  His ex-girlfriend sent me all of his emails, text messages and Facebook communication.  Is this from the mind of a healthy, functioning, 40-year old man?  We will soon see what the court thinks.

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Click the link to purchase Tina’s new book, “Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle.”  You will find insight, red flag reflections and strategies on how to survive (and thrive!) while divorcing of co-parenting with a narcissist. Tired of panicking at the site of a new email from the narcissist in your inbox? Learn how to decode the emails and see them for what they are. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.

 

18 Responses »

  1. Oy! That’s one manipulative SOB! I wish you the best of luck with the evaluation. They’d have to be totally insane to believe him and not you. My heart is with you, Tina! Can’t wait to have you on my radio show on Thursday. xoxoxo Sandy

  2. OMG. Reading those gives me chills… and brings back horrible memories of similar emails I’ve received. I hope they not only side with you, but demand a psych evaluation for him. He is a lunatic.

  3. I can’t believe how much alike some narcs are. I’ve heard many of those same phrases or ones very similar. If only they knew how NOT unique and special they really are…

  4. It is true the similarities. I’m surprised he doesn’t stay on his “best behavior” knowing there are pending court hearings. Best of luck to you and prayers are with you.

  5. I was thinking the same, about how they are so similar. When I read how they pick a “chosen one,” it struck a chord. Of my three children (two older girls and youngest a boy), my son gets all the special treatment. He’s even gone so far as to alienate my daughters– he turned away my middle daughter from a visit on my son’s birthday weekend saying she needs to let him know in advance that she plans to come– he’s already made “boy activity” plans for our son. It turned out they went to Disneyland.

    And another eerie similarity I see is how they accuse you of not doing enough to develop your child’s best potential. Ironically, they usually were the invisible father during the marriage, and are completely washing their hands of parenting after the divorce, yet all responsibility lies on YOUR shoulders– aside from juggling the new life of supporting yourself and kids and running a household by yourself. Oh, and my ex even lied to the mediator about wanting “more time” with our son so he could do father/son activities like join a sports team and take him to special learning classes. So far, he’s failed to do any of it. But he still blames me for our son’s difficulties keeping up with academics– which I’ve explained to him countless times that he’s getting IEP classes due to some sort of learning disability (he’s borderline ADD). It makes you realize how lucky you are to have limited contact with the evil people who know best how to push your buttons. Good riddance!

  6. To a someone like me he sounds scary….. Please be careful as you know these misogynists know how to brainwash even ‘professionals’.
    I know it happened to me.

  7. It is really scary to realize there are so many people out there with this disorder! My ex always said “Karma’s going to get you” (so far it has gotten him, but I never cursed him with it). He told me very sarcastically what a “Good mother” I am, meaning the exact opposite saying he knows how to be a father having had 7 children, of course, his ex wives/gf’s raised them, not him. After 3 years away from him the hateful text messages still flow freely. I doubt they’ll ever stop, I just don’t respond anymore.

  8. I can’t even copy what I have received from the x….After reading your post, I looked over mine as I have a very important hearing on Friday. I am physically sickened by what he has done not even to me, but my children. A CONVICTED FELON (convicted of domestic violence against a member of his household only 16 years old) has filed for custody of my children. That the court would even waste time hearing this case is beyond comprehension. This is not his first conviction either. He is wealthy (well, for the purposes of child support, his WIFE is wealthy) and has the $ to tie this up in court forever. How can this type of behavior and abuse of the system go on???

  9. WOW…he sure has a HUGE ego now doesn’t he? Sounds like my X who put the blame for all his court troubles on me & his other 2 X wives, which should have been a HUGE red flag for me to truly look deeper into. He is STILL trying to know everything about my life even though we did NOT have children together, no property so he should have just exited my life after but he said that he will NEVER forget my putting him in jail for 60 days after he made threats against me when I was to testify against him in court, so after being divorced 14 years, I am now dealing with HIM & others he drags into the “drama” he tries to create. He even moved back to the SAME town I did, so I am ALWAYS watching my back no matter where I am or where I go. Maybe after my son graduates HS, I will be able to get $$ up to move away for good & start a NEW life!!

  10. The sad part is there is a small part( very small) of Seth that wants to be a Dad to the kids….he has NO clue how. If he would only feed the “good wolf” inside of him and let the other die….That certainly won’t be happening by Wed….

  11. Holy crap! Be careful and be strong. They can manipulate even the most cautious professionals. Mine has not yet turned on the other woman. I so wanted him to for so long. My youngest, my 18 year-old daughter, caught them together and he called the other woman “just a whore” to my daughter in front of the other woman. He tried to tell my daughter he loved me, his wife. Said he and the other woman just meet each other’s sick needs. He texts me daily how much he loves and needs me. I’m his alpha and omega. Can’t live without me. I’m perfect in every way. Yet when I push divorce, I’m the most evil creature on earth. 27 years of marriage and I am wiped out. Yet I must go on. Chaos never ends. And I am to blame. It’s staggering, really.

  12. Seems like all npd’s love the same terms: “unbelievable”, “you should be ashamed of yourself”, “how do you sleep at night”… When in reality we think those same terms in our minds about their craziness! But because we know better, we never say them to the npd. We have all learned or will learn that the best thing to say to the npd is nothing at all. :)

  13. You did not just say YOU are to blame did you? I hope not because you are the innocent party in this relationship!!

  14. Tina is doing a great job putting NPD and Family Court in the media. Is there a national group(s) that address NPD and the, in my case, anyway, corrupt or uneducated judges in Family Court? I had assumed that the Family Court in my small, New England town, was so bad because it was in a small, New England town. Is it wide-spread? Urban and rural? Being a law abiding citizen, I never interacted with a court before my divorce. It didn’t play out AT ALL the way I’d assumed it would.

  15. My ex told our daughter who was about to meet with the parenting coordinator not to “tattle” on him to anyone and especially to “old ladies” (the PC is maybe in her fifties). Do narcissists compare notes or something ;) Humor aside, it is a damaging message to send to kids to deny and cover up. Especially coming from a parent.

    Seth is buying beds to cause you and the girls to feel off balance. But you’re on to him, and it’s not going to work! Stay strong.

    Oh, and the texts clearly show that he’s abusive. I hope the evaluator sees at least the first one. It reveals so much.

  16. I found this site while researching narcissism—I want to make the comment about the Dr. Phil debacle. His new book touts a personality called “baiters” which is just plain ol’ narcissism.
    This guy is on television,I think he suffers from some ego problem as well.

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