Divorcing a Narcissist: Parenting Evaluation Continues

Divorcing a Narcissist: Parenting Evaluation Continues

evaluationI am incredibly thankful that the parenting evaluation is underway because it will allow the court to get to the bottom of the issues and accusations.  This is where my faith comes into play- I have to have faith that things are happening as they are supposed to.  I pray that this evaluator is able to see through the fake image that Seth is so skilled at presenting.  I met with the evaluator  a couple of weeks ago and the appointment lasted almost 2.5 hours.  I was able to express my concerns and then back them up with evidence.  The main difference between the evaluation in 2010 and the current one is that a pattern of behavior has been established – it is indisputable and documented.

Last night I had a bit of a pity party also known as a bout of frustration over the entire process.  Because Seth is incompetent as a father, I am going thousands of dollars in debt to pay for someone to evaluate both of us. The entire investigation centers around Seth yet I am forced to pay.  It’s just another flaw in the system.  I have taken my daughters to every school function, every single day of school, every medical appointment and every ER visit.  I have nursed every boo-boo, late night fever and bad dream.  Seth has never even set foot on the girls school campus except on one occasion with the sole purpose of  intimidating me by serving me court papers in front of our children.

Seth is scheduled for his home visit this weekend and mine was completed this afternoon.  The evaluator will also meet with the girls alone at his office next week.  I have a lot more confidence in this evaluator and the questions that he asked the girls in comparison to the last evaluator.  I have another round of paperwork to prepare before my next interview with him on Thursday.  Maybe it is overly hopeful of me but I do believe that he will see through Seth and his staged home.

We are scheduled to go to trial for a two-day review hearing on April 10th and 11th.  Fingers crossed, prayers in progress, pixie dust sprinkled and positive thoughts flowing.

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6 Responses

  1. I’m keeping my fingers crossed fo you “this time” Tina!
    We all know how this depends on the luck of the draw. My very well prepared custody file with documented facts and evidence of “Common Assalt & Battery” which involved my son, as well as a Molestation Order and 7 years details of atrocious behaviour, was never read by the evaluator!! Even with two “good” meetings of over 2 hours long and 2 phone conversations he still forgot the derails. He reported to the court that there was no violence and then had to issue a side letter saying “he” hadn’t seen that evidence! I can prove this was wrong as I’d sent it through on email to him to make sure I had evidence that he had seen it!
    This system is like walking into the Lions den but I am the little mouse in there, that WILL find the holes in this big den and find peace and freedom for me and my children in the end!
    Back in Court pro se in March!! Good luck everyone. X

  2. My heart goes out to you, Tina. You have incredible courage and tenacity to withstand the cruel and manipulative behavior of Seth, to keep advocating for the right of your children to be in a safe environment. The cost is high now, but the rewards will be exponentially worthwhile.

    Your daughters are lucky to have one sane parent who loves them enough to fight for what’s right. You have my support and loving wishes that this all goes as smoothly as possible with as little harm to your girls as possible.

  3. I had a similar frustration/pity party that I was sharing with my best friend who has been there every step of the way through all of this. She had shared with her husband the costs and frustration, and emotional toil it was taking on the kids and he put it perfectly, “Now it may cost thousands of dollars, lots of tears and high levels of frustration but in years to come those three children will see how very much they were loved, protected and advocated for by a mother who never lost her moral and ethical stance despite what he’s throwing at her. Those kids are lucky and will see it one day and model her behavior”. I can only pray it is true and remind myself that the short term sacrifices we all make in these situations truly will have long term gain for our children’s health and well being. Sending prayers up for the truth to come out in this eval for you and set you all free

  4. You are all in my prayers. I wish I could say that I cannot imagine what you are going through, but I can. I pray that the evaluator will see through all false stories and the courts will finally rule in favor of the kids, for what is truly best in their best interest.

    Having a parent in the situation who is not mentally stable no matter what their disorder is and if it is officially diagnosed or not is a detriment to the child as well as the other parent. The mental disorder affects everyone in the situation and the courts must learn to address these orders for everyone involved. Until our court systems learn to protect our children we are all failing them.

  5. Tina
    I am going through the exact same thing, we are in the midst of a custody evaluation, and I feel the same way I am going into severe debt, which is stressful, and the other day when my two kids had the stomach flu, I thought, where is he? I have been the parent 98% of the time always, I have been the one that does it all, and he is trying to take them away from me, and all he has ever done is play with them, and Steven never went to the kids schools either except to threaten them, because he didn’t want them to report to the court what a good Mom I am, he actually threatened them…I can only shake my head, and think what audacity. I have bought your book, and I started to read it but with the kids sick this week, haven’t had time to get further, but it is through you that I realized he isn’t just abusive he is a narcissist, totally. Everything that is wrong with him, he tells the court it is me… sometimes I feel like just screaming, Stop it, your acting like an idiot, no one believes you, I have 4 years of e mails, video evidence, and a affidavit from his mother!

  6. Prayers are with you all. I’m still finding my way out of debt after going back and forth to court. Not to mention my car, home, neighbors car(for testifying on my behalf) was destroyed. Of course I’m unable to prove he did it but I know he did. Keep fighting the good fight Tina.