Divorcing a Narcissist: Pulling out the Trusty Narc Decoder

Divorcing a Narcissist: Pulling out the Trusty Narc Decoder

decoderFor the most part, my communication with Seth has been non-existent over the past few months.  He emails if he plans to exercise his visitation and I then notate his emails in “Our Family Wizard” which he has refused to use since January. I have been sending childcare and medical bills to the address that is on file with the courts as required for two years yet he has never acknowledged them or responded.  At this point, the bills for the past two years are approaching $10,000 and that doesn’t include childcare for this summer.

I sent Seth an email recently outlining the costs and asking for his assistance. I didn’t expect his assistance however, I need to show the courts that I attempt to communicate with him and that he is very aware of these obligations.  As expected, I received an email which prompted me to pull out my trusty Narc Decoder.  If you are new to my blog, you can find out more about the Narc Decoder by clicking here: Huffington Post: Narc Decoder.

I promptly printed out Seth’s email and dusted off the Narc Decoder.  As I entered the printed email, I promptly heard the all-to-familiar, “snap, crackle, pop” and realized that the emails are as painful to the machine as they are to me!

Seth’s original email:

Tina- I volunteered to have time with our daughters up to Two Weeks every month.

You refused to even let me have an exchange weekend with the girls.

You further have claimed you make (low wages) and work part time so you can pick the girls up from school at your leisure.  Your facts remain inconsistent with someone earning income below the US poverty level.  Best regards, Seth

Decoded:

Tina-

You and I both know that having the girls for two weeks out of every month would greatly reduce the child support that I am ordered to pay each month. Since I don’t pay it anyway, this is obviously a moot point.  The courts revoked my overnight visits in 2011 yet I am still trying to convince them that I am qualified for 50/50 custody- as you can tell by my email, I am clearly delusional and live in a fantasy world.

Since I have failed to show up for 38% of my already limited visits in 2013, we both know that I would be laughed out of court if I asked for two weeks out of every month.  Currently, I can’t even be depended on for five daytime visits per month!

How dare you refuse to switch weekends with me when I have parties or other social functions (ie drinking) to attend to on my scheduled days!  Did you not get the memo that your life should revolve around mine?! I am angry that you have set boundaries and refuse to bend when I make a demand.

I know how unstable I look to the courts when I can’t hold a job more than 4 months at a time. Because of this, I am going to pick apart the career that you’ve managed to maintain and excel in during the four year roller coaster that I’ve put you on. Because I am still consumed by (my lack of) money, power and prestige, I am going to attack your world which I am extremely jealous of.  Basically, I am the playground bully that never matured past the emotional age of six years old.

Best regards, Seth

To read previous emails that have been through the Narc Decoder, click one of the links below:

Please Deliver my Daughters – Decoded by the Narc Decoder

Another Email for the Narc Decoder

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Click the link to purchase Tina’s new book, “Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle.”  You will find insight, red flag reflections and strategies on how to survive (and thrive!) while divorcing of co-parenting with a narcissist. Tired of panicking at the site of a new email from the narcissist in your inbox? Learn how to decode the emails and see them for what they are. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.

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