Note from Tina: As you know, I will be changing the format of One Mom’s Battle over the next few months to feature other faces in this battle. When I put the request out there, I secretly hoped that I would find a “Dad Blogger” to represent the other side. I did actually find a dad blogger but what I did NOT expect to find was “Olivia.”
This next blogger that I am about to introduce isn’t divorcing a narcissist. Her father is a narcissist. Olivia is currently away at college and has now found a special place in my heart. I asked Olivia what her main contribution would be to One Mom’s Battle and this was her answer:
“I think I will provide inspiration for daughters like me who are in the same situation as me. I also want to provide hope to girls, as “One Mom’s Battle” has given my Mom and I hope.” -Olivia
“Olivia” ~ Blog 1
Intro: Hey Y’all! My story is a little bit different than the other bloggers. Instead of divorcing a narcissist, I am related to one. I have come to realize, especially in the past few years, that my dad is more than just mean, manipulative, and crazy. I believe my dad has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Looking back on my earliest memories, I can identify red flags. Even though he is a major part of my story, he is not who I am or who I will become.
Since I’m only a freshman in college, I still have a lot of growing up to do and a lot of things to add to my biography. Some major things about me are I love skiing, concerts, and airports. I have been extremely blessed in my life; I have been able to attend two incredible schools: my university and the school I went for pre-kindergarten to twelfth grade. I made the most incredible friends at school and through sports. I have found support, encouragement, accountability, laughter, and love in my friends and in my sorority sisters.
So far my biography goes like this. For the first 8-ish years of my life were marked with the Backstreet Boys (still my favorite band), trips to my grandmother’s house, and unfortunately vague memories of my dad physically, verbally, and emotionally abusing my mom. I’m not sure what I thought at the time, but looking back it is horrifying. The next part of my life consisted of going back and forth between houses, ski trips, and school memories. My junior and senior years of high school are when I started to notice just how mean, manipulative, and crazy my dad really is. I noticed that everything came with strings, everything was about my dad, and he gave no love, respect, or help, but he demanded that and more in return. At the beginning of my junior year, my mom’s boyfriend and my mom rented a house together. That is also when I stop wanting to visit my dad’s house. The only time I wanted to see him was so that I could see my cousins.
As soon as we moved in, my dad started making unannounced visits late at night. He also started to send text messages that would go on for pages about how my mom is brainwashing me, how is he a great father, how I am a horrible daughter, and how I am making him look bad. Finally I am in college. I am exactly 160 miles from him. I have, in my opinion, successfully managed my first semester of college. I joined a sorority, made new friends, and performed well in school, but I still feel his presence due to the text messages, emails, the anxiety, and the financial cloud hanging over my head. No matter what he has done to me, I am still going to be the best version of myself. ###
To see the rest of the posts from “Olivia,” click here.
Click the link to purchase Tina’s new book, “Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle.” You will find insight, red flag reflections and strategies on how to survive (and thrive!) while divorcing of co-parenting with a narcissist. Tired of panicking at the site of a new email from the narcissist in your inbox? Learn how to de-code the emails and see them for what they are. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.