Today Show with Christie Brinkley : Narcissism and Divorce

Today Show with Christie Brinkley : Narcissism and Divorce

After watching the Today Show this morning, I have lost all respect for Matt Lauer.   His interview with Christie Brinkley was painful to watch.

There are millions of ignorant people- I understand that.

Someone in Matt Lauer’s position has an obligation to be informed about the topic at hand before he openly crucifies someone.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) should be the next topic of the Today Show and Matt Lauer should be forced to conduct the research for the show.  Please help me by “sharing” this post in an effort to bring awareness to NPD.

My heart goes out to Christie Brinkley as my own battle has been incredibly trying.  I can not imagine how difficult her journey has been given that she is in the public spotlight.  I hope that Christie is able to turn this experience into a positive by using her stardom to educate the public on Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

While I have not followed her career to date, I am cheering her (and her children) on from the sidelines.  I admire her courage and strength.

To watch Matt Lauer’s interview with Christie Brinkley, click here.


30 Responses

  1. I applaud this. After being involved with a narcissistic husband, nothing made sense, how he used to look at other women and look at me as a model woman, of which I fell short…..it was so awful for Christie Brinkley to be publically harassed by Matt Lauer in his ignorance of domestic violence and domestic abuse by a narcissist. My narcissist weilded a gun to others and when I found out he had beaten his other wife, I knew I had to get out. Pleas Matt learn how terrible you were to Christie and how you used a myth of the woman being partly to blame in this as no woman is to blame for a narcissist domestic abuser as it is not about her!! Matt, apologize and take it back!

  2. Pingback: What a woman looks like who has been emotionally beaten « Paula's Pontifications

  3. I’m in the same boat. It is so painful to not be believed. People assume that you are trying to villainize your ex or make yourself look better. Sometimes, the truth is on one side of the argument, especially when the other partner will stop at nothing to protect him or herself. I agree with you, my heart goes out to her as she faces this struggle in the public, and often ignorant, eye.

  4. It has been one of the most difficult aspects of the divorce for me (on a personal level) because he (X) went on such a smear campaign. This, like everything else has come back around. I have people stop me all the time who once believed his stories and now see through him.

  5. Thank you for sharing this… It was so hard to watch him talk about how the two of them can “work this out”. As many of us know there is NO rationalizing with someone that displays this behavior. It ISN’T a two-way street as it would be with any rational person.

    I haven’t spoken to my ex in a year and a half now (though he continued to try to harass me via text message or any other means he could find) until he was charged with violating the protection order 14 months ago, all of the feelings came rushing back.

  6. I felt the same way. I have loved the Today Show for 20 years. Today, I felt that Matt wasn’t listening. Maybe Matt is lucky that he can’t understand the way life is when dealing with a Narcissist, but he didn’t seem open to understanding it either. I had many people who were so confused about my situation. They didn’t get why I couldn’t express my feelings to my ex. They didn’t get that it was because I would suffer the consequences and it was easier if I didn’t have to suffer them. I am going to do what I can to let the Today Show know that they completely discounted a form of abuse they aren’t aware of. I just hope it happened because they are ignorant and not because they see this form of abuse as normal behavior.

  7. I can say with all confidence, those who keep insisting “it takes two”, have never been involved with a Narcissist.

    My husband gave lip service to the idea of working it out, but refused to give up his girlfriend. He manipulated me into paying his rent so he could live with his lover, then announced that I was not trying hard enough to save our marriage.

    Whenever I resist (whatever-it-is-he-wants), he gets incredibly hateful and venemous. Almostly instantly after I give in, his attitude takes a 180–until the next time he demands something obscene.

    It got to the point I stopped giving in on anything as his demands became more and more outrageous, and he stopped pretending to talk to me in retaliation for my defiance.

    I finally copped to some responsibility just because I was trying to protect my life. I sleep with a teddy bear and a hammer.

    Matt, how do you reason with someone who makes death threats if you don’t take responsibility for their choices?

  8. I watched the interview today as well, I felt sick. Matt was abusing her all over again. Who knows, maybe he is the same way at home and doesn’t understand her point! I watched online and was looking for a place to comment on his interview when I got lost and found this blog…somehow not so lost after all. I know it is hard for people who don’t experience this type of thing to imagine it even happens, but he was being totally unsympathetic. I think I need to go back and look for someplace to send feedback. I’m annoyed all over again :/

  9. Geez…just reading these comments makes me feel not so alone. When I was going through it, it was so hard to get people to understand. But they helped me too because I kept looking for what I did to cause this. My friends and family helped me to realize I not only tried, I did things to try to save my marriage no self-respecting person would do. That is where I got strength. One of my friends asked me what I would do if the same thing were happening to her….well, that was an eye-opener. That was one of the most empowering conversations I have ever had. Thank you all for opening up and making others aware of emotional abuse! BTW…I joined the Today Show FB page and commented about today’s interview. If more do this, we might get some kind of constructive interview about it.

  10. I’ve been there too, and my children still bear the scars. The courts could/would do nothing to protect them. Matt Lauer profoundly needs to understand that divorcing a narcissist, (like going to counseling with a perpetrator of domestic violence, in that both are fraught with peril, and widely misunderstood) is NOT simply a divorce. To think that “It takes two” is the worst kind of ignorance. it’s virtually the same thing as saying, “it takes two” (people to work it out, etc.) to someone divorcing a paranoid schizophrenic. Ms. Brinkley was subjected to further abuse by Mr. Lauer, who didn’t understand this very real issue, and this very real diagnosis. Christie is divorcing someone with a MENTAL ILLNESS; A PERSONALITY DISORDER that puts their children at risk. Matt: interview a psychiatrist with experience in this area. Do something to repair the damage you did today.

  11. I agree! I’d love to let The Today Show know my thoughts on this matter. As of yet I cannot find a way to email them. Let me know if you find one.

  12. Matt Lauer interviewed a model with personal problems in the same vein that he would have interviewed Bin Laden or Kim Jong Il ,had he ever had the chance….
    Such humorless intensity and barely-disguised disgust and disrespect–he repeatedly implied that she didn’t care about her children!
    Something’s wrong in Matt’s attitude toward women…
    NBC and Today owe Ms Brinkley an apology.

  13. Wow, what a dickhead interviewer. After all this poor women has gone through, notice how anytime her ex husband gets to have his say, he can speak freely and clearly about her, but when it comes to her say she has to defend herself from constant attacks, for him to just rudely point out that their is Peter Cooke’s side to be remembered as well… seriously what a smuck. I hope this guy has to make some kind of formal apolegy.

  14. I saw the interview, too. I felt so sorry for Ms. Brinkley. Matt Laurer did not have a clue what she has been going through. I truly felt her pain being that my divorce was just finalize with my narcisstic ex-husband.

  15. Thank you for sharing this interview, I missed it this morning! So glad to have found your Blog through Paula. Can’t wait to sit down and read read read!!!

  16. Shared your blog via Facebook! My sister is going on a four year divorce with someone ‘unofficially’ diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder. The lack of understanding regarding the disorder was appalling, and Kathie Lee’s comment that they are both adults and should fix it for their kids just illustrates their ignorance. You can’t “reason” with someone with that disorder… period. To the Today team: do your homework!

  17. Matt is a CLUELESS guy! He had no right to give his opinion nor did he have the right to comment as to how he thought Christie should live her life . In the first place if her ex cared more about his family, he would of never had CHEATED in the first place. By cheating he ruined not only a marriage but destroyed a family! His choice really reflects what kind of person he is and shows how his selfishness. IF Matt had more respect for Christie, he would never questioned or talked to her the way he did. There is a difference between wanting ot know someone or wanting to know about them, Matt only wanted to know ABOUT her and he cared nothing about how this effected her or the family. I don’t think it is fair to only say or listen to what is best for him and if he is going to bring up a question then he needs to be decent enough to respect her feelings. If she does speak out so be it that is her personal choice?? If somehow we are effected by way of other peoples actions in our lives, we have the personal choice to share and so does she. No one should look at her past and comment on the amount of marriages she has had but rather look at how & why the marriages ended – did she cause him to cheat? I think the finger needs to be pointed to the one that was a pervert and clearly this was never her! I will NEVER again watch Matt, he was just plain rude and very uneducated and for this I have lost all respect to him and to the job he does.

  18. Pingback: Divorcing a Narcissist « One Mom's Battle

  19. I agree with you. It is inexcusable, how Matt spoke to her. I lost respect for him. He was speaking to her, as though he is friends with Peter Cook. No one, and I mean no one knows what it is like to have been married to a Narcissist, except those of us who have. The lies, the cheating, the verbal abuse. I have given myself a no contact rule, per the experts. I do so much better, when not around him. They will never be able to turn the tables to know what they have done, as they don’t have a true, honest bone in their body. Sharing kids with them is hard. They are good actors and that is why some people don’t believe you. They only know what they see, and they don’t see behind closed doors. Keep God in your hearts and he will see you through.

  20. I agree. Matt Lauer,should have realize that Nacissism is a mental illness. They are pathological liars. You cannot deal with them, they will always try to screw with you. It’s their game of power tripping. He treated her so disrespectfully. It brough tears to my eyes. I just finalized my divorce from my “N” and I stay away from him, as he just lies and minipulates anyway.

  21. I did send an email to NBC:
    Shame shame shame on Matt Lauer. Has he no responsibility- or does no one who preps him for interviews not have the responsibility- to do some research before interviewing someone live?

    Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is VERY real and divorcing an NPD is extremely difficult- they do not disengage like normal folk, they have no empathy, they care naught for their children, family, ex-wives- no one. They attack, lie, cheat, steal, batter, harass, and stalk their targets with the hope of making the target return.

    I can only guess how many people you will hear form- this is a silent issue because those of us who deal with NPDs – whether married or not- tend to try to leave in silence, under cover, rocking the boat as little as possible. An agitated NPD is a worst nightmare scenario and our counselors tell us – leave when they are out of town or at work, don’t tell them where you are going, never have any contact again and if you have to for childrens’ sake, do it with supervision and as quickly as possible.

    I am absolutely DISGUSTED by the way Matt Lauer spoke to Ms. Brinkley. Ignorant, arrogant, belittling, and condescending. It was uncomfortable to watch and he, and your research crew, should be ashamed of the abuse you put her through. She is already suffering at the hands of her ex-husband, and now you just treated her like an idiot on TV. Way to go TODAY- you are no better than the NPD she is trying to extricate.

    You owe her – and the rest of us who have been victimized by NPDs – an apology. Matt Lauer owes her a personal apology – and her children too for implying that she is not handling this correctly and that she is doing things in a way that is harmful for her children.

    Shame shame shame again.

    He was so disrespectul and contemptuous. Asshole just kept runing through my mind. I am divorcing an NPD- lost my home, he made us close our business (after nealry bankrupting with money he stole to support his cocaine habit!) and he is asking for alimony and portions of MY retirement funds and what not. And at the same time sends loveletters indiciating a desire to put me on a pedastal, I am th eonly one for him, he can’t wait for us to be together and oh by the way can I send him money, pay his bills, put together his resume, etc. It is not hard to find out about NPD- NBC, tODAY, and lauer were all lazy and as a result abused a woman publicly who is already bearing shame privately.

    I am disgusted.

  22. Well, I do not have a Narscisstic husband but my mother is one and she made life a real challenge for my three siblings and myself. She spent a lifetime manipulating the four of us …until we finally realized in our 50′s and 60′s what her problem was. This is a very real thing and the courts need to see NPD as a real ‘disease’! My mother actually sued me…based on lies…and took it all the way to the state Supreme Court where she finally lost! The baseless lawsuit cost our family all of our savings and I think someone somewhere along the line in the court system should have tossed this out…and said this woman is nuts! But instead both lawyers…hers and mine…raked in the dough! Keep up the pressure and maybe the legal system can be changed!

  23. I had a seven year relationship with a narcissist and it wasn’t fun. On and off episodes of anger and rage on his part made the relationship a living hell. It wasn’t until someone gave me the book “Malignant Self-Love” by Sam Vaknin, that I realized what I was experiencing. It is now my bible. The book has made one thing perfectly clear to me…there is no cure. The best thing to do when involved with a narcissist is simply…run.

  24. You are right! A friend of mine said she is going to write a book called, “Narcissism for Dummies”. The first (and only page would say, “RUN”). :)

  25. I was involved with three narcissist before I knew what the word meant. I was married to my husband 48 yrs before he passed away. Had two year relationship with an old school friend and then two more years to a fellow I met in Phoenix.
    All had the same traits. I now know what to watch out for, but my goodness, I’m 70 yrs old now.

  26. I, too, am divorcing a narcissist. Everything in his divorce paperwork is a lie and he is putting me on the street to take a house with no equity in it, simply because he knows my home is my security. This is the most horrible thing I have ever gone for.

    I won’t be watching anything Matt Lauer is on. I watched him constantly interrupt and ignore Christie Brinkley’s responses when they weren’t what he wanted to hear.

    My heart goes out to Christie. I know how the narcissist plays dirty. I know how they belittle you, and tear you down. I know how heart breaking this is. May God give Christie the peace she deserves. And may Matt Lauer end up working construction one day.