From the time we separated until the day the paperwork was stamped and signed by the judge– it was approximately 2 years, 8 months, 12 days and 34 minutes. Who’s counting? I am. From the time he legally filed for divorce, it was 2 years and 2 months from start to finish. Regardless of which date you focus on…it’s a long time.
Our custody battle took that long.
It took that long for me to finally show his true colors to the courts.
We didn’t have things to fight over. We lost everything when our financial world collapsed. The things that we held onto were lost when he invaded my home ( Lying in Wait ) and stripped me of everything. In a way, it was a blessing. It was a cleansing and a chance to start over. I didn’t have “things” to remind me of the past. In some ways, he did me a favor. He got what was so important to him: things.
I got what was so important to me: the chance to walk away from a pretend world and reclaim my identity. The nice couches, furniture and art was all symbolic of a fake and empty existence. I am not fake and I am not empty.
I devoted yesterday to re-claiming my identity.
To sum it up: I spent all day at the DMV, the Social Security office and the bank. I’m not a fan of sitting around and waiting so it took a lot of personal motivation to walk in, take a number, sit and wait. And then wait more. And more.
I walked out of the DMV with a piece of paper that made me feel even more empowered then I could have imagined. I left the Social Security Office with my true identity back. I ordered shiny new checks from the bank with MY name on them. The name that I was born with and the name that I was meant to have for the rest of my life.
Last night, I went to sleep as “Tina Marie Swithin“.
Cheers to small victories that mean a lot to me personally.